Align your mind with ur Soul Shine

My Healing Story
: Ask and Ye Shall Receive

I want to share my own story of help from above (and beyond)... my healing story.

When I made one of my big life changing moves, I relocated a few hundred miles from the community that I'd lived in for thirteen years. I was ecstatic to find my first home in the country. It wasn't perfect but it was a dream come true, my little paradise.

My relationships and activities were drastically altered. I became somewhat of a hermit.

I was also in the midst of a rocky relationship. This person had many deep-seated issues which were amplified by his alcoholism. He loved to put me down, berate me and tell me how worthless I was. I fired back at him, telling him that if I'm so terrible, why doesn't he go away and stay away. He didn't want to go, he just wanted a whipping post.

We were stuck in a break-up/make-up cycle. When it came to breaking up, he always swore that he would change. Typical of alcoholism, he didn't. He would make efforts lasting from one to two weeks, sometimes even a month but he would always revert back to self-pity, drunkenness and tyranny. He needed his own healing, he just didn't want it.

This turmoil combined with isolation (and other factors) led me slowly into a depressed state of being. It snuck up on me so gradually that I wasn't aware that it was happening. As my prior activities faded, I faded.

I began to question the purpose of my existence. I felt that life was a drag and that it really wasn't that important. The only thing that mattered was my children. I knew that I had to be here for them. I felt that nobody loved them as much as I did and that I had to protect them from the big bad world.

Still, I'd wake up with the feeling of dread and the attitude of, 'crap! I'm back here again.' My will to go on was greatly challenged.

I became so miserable that I started saying, "God help me, God help me" everyday, all day. Then, lo and behold, enter the magic, God helped me! Beautiful spirits were sent my way. The healing was set in motion.

Grandmother's Arrival

First came the spirit of a person I knew briefly before her "death" (transition). She was called Grandmother. She was a Native American Elder and teacher. I had a powerful connection with her - I knew it was a past life connection. I felt like she was MY Grandmother.

Before her passing, I was told in a dream that she would not be at the event where I was expecting to see her the following year because she would be gone. A few weeks later, a friend called me to tell me that Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and that she wouldn't be coming in the summer. She passed shortly after that.

As proof of our bond, her spirit showed up to help me in my time of need. I was standing at my stove cooking when she arrived. I was having random thoughts when suddenly I heard her speak to me. I could see her in my mind's eye and heard her very clearly and distinctly. At first I cried at her presence. Then she spoke her wise words.

From that moment of recognition, she came and counseled me repeatedly. She would correct my thought processes, thus bringing my wrongful thinking to my attention. I began to see how my thinking was the problem. She taught me how to love myself, maybe for the first time.

During this period, I was also drawn to a book that someone had given me years before, "Daily Power Thoughts" by Robert Schuller. That's where my love and appreciation for his works began. Between Grandmother's guidance and Schuller's inspirations, my recovery was in full gear.

Sunshine & Pow Wows

My healing was sealed after a few more events occurred. A close friend invited me to a special Pow Wow. I made excuses of why I couldn't attend. He would not take no for an answer (unusual for him). He said, "You have to come, I've already reserved your spot, and don't worry about your booth, we'll have one ready for you." After, "Uh - uh", I said okay.

The weather had been gloomy, which never helps brighten your mood. I wanted to back out but I kept thinking, 'I have to go, the arrangements have already been made.'

The day I arrived, it was clear and sunny. Two of my friends were setting up a booth for me to use. I went into busy mode to get everything ready.

As soon as the drum began, I felt a healing wave surge through every pore. It was as if a switch was turned on inside of me. I was in complete awe and inner celebration. My ten year old son was with me too so it was double joyful.

At one point in the day, two men carrying a box came to my booth. One of them asked if I wanted to buy any tapes. At first I had sarcastic thoughts wondering why they were peddling without a booth. I replied, 'no thanks.' They looked at me like I was crazy. I suddenly and without thinking jumped up from my chair and said, 'Let's see what ya got.'

As they showed me their tapes and CDs, I realized that they were part of the Host Drum group. I bought some tapes and said thanks. One of them hesitated, then presented his hand for a shake. I obliged and he did a few fancy moves with the shake. (Secret handshake I guess.) The other guy moved on but the "shaker" hesitated again, then as he walked off, he turned and made another comment to me about enjoying the tapes. I suppose he knew something I didn't.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that he was flirting... instead, it was just strange. It wasn't until later that I learned of my spiritual connection to that person.

My son and I had a blast that week-end. I saw many old faces and mingled with friends. My brother hung out for awhile too. That magical event sealed my healing. From that time on, I felt great and excited again about living. I'd received a happy healing.

My Return

This experience taught me many things. One is that help is always available and can come in many forms. We are connected to so many others, both physically and spiritually, even if we're not consciously aware of it.

My healing came first because I asked for it, but came in steps with many players - friends in and out of bodies and some that I didn't even know I had.

After returning home, I couldn't get the drum out of my mind. I'd heard many Drum groups before, but these particular songs and energies simply resonated deeply within me. I dug through my merchandise to find the tapes that I had left. I started with one and loved it so much that I got out the rest. I eventually wore them out. Every time I played them, I felt energized and connected to everything.

I asked for the tapes every time I saw the group after that. They were always out or they didn't bring them. My needs though were met at the crucial time that I needed them most.

The world was magical again, even more than before my depression. I came to realize that yes, I can have my heart's desires...and I set out to manifest them.

I hope this true story has inspired you to seek out the healing that you desire and require. Never put limits on Creator's ways and means. "I have weapons ye know not of." Happy Healing!

Healing Meditations

Body Temple

Sacred Breath


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